October 14 & 15, 2025 - THE PLAGUE PARTS 2 & 3

// October 14th, 2025 //

Hnnghhhhh! I’m death. I dunno man. Mansur ain’t getting much better at work. Steve dropped by, everyone’s nerves are UP. But they’re right, why is one person doing more work so that the other doesn’t have to? Crazy. I had a croissant, some chips and soup today. I lie in bed and I am starving.

I drank all my water, but now I would like some soup and hot cocoa. I’ve been wasting away. I watched that SZA and Keke Palmer movie, egh. Drez said he’s bawling after watching MyHero which reminded me I have to start that ish.

// October 15th, 2025 //

We are 7 days away from going to Japan and I don’t have a passport. We called the office yesterday and they said it’s approved and awaiting printing. Calling today revealed that this process isn’t a short order. It could be weeks before anyone gets back to us. I can’t live in that world; where I don’t get my passport in time. I have however already made up in my mind that I’m not going, I feel no ways. It isn’t my money, and vacation doesn’t suit me. I’m a workaholic. My only issue is Klarence, I cannot not see him. Especially if he already booked tickets. The boy seems more excited than me. I need to go if only for him. If only for him.

Beyond that, I’m also dying still. Whatever Victorian boy possessed me yesterday has disappeared. The poetry has left my lungs. Martin’s been asking about Nicole, Jen asked me about work without her, Raj wants to get Contigo. I sleep. I cannot think. I caught up to MyHero yesterday. I don’t remember a lot of what’s happening to be honest, however I knew Bakugo was finna get his get back. Watching All Might get paraded around like a broken piñata is heart breaking but I knew as soon as I saw the coffin in the sky that the goat was coming. I saw that mf get up with nothing but rage in his eyes. He is going to mop the fucking floor with all for one. It’s also just funny to see Deku just hold Shigaraki in a stalemate for 40 minutes now. That boy is BEGGING for the plot to move along. It’s easy in the Manga because they just show him, but in the anime they’re cutting to him every 5 seconds.

I tried to start Hazbin Hotel, I fell asleep. It has the older black guy from community and Stephanie Beatriz, both of whom I adore. So I’m gonna give it more of a chance but… I dunno man. Nothing has pulled me in yet, in fact I’m not in love with the characters… which is my favourite part of art.

Ughhhh, remind me to read my father’s emails, to write to my cousin, to listen to the new Doja Cat album, uhhhh, there’s probably more. I dunno, I’m tired and dying.

I want to lay in a beautiful woman’s arms and bleed out as the snow falls. As the white turns red, a loss of innocence. It should be our wedding day. I’d be wearing a Barong, its intricate details would reveal everything about me, my hobbies, interests and loves. Every curve and stitch telling its own story about me. She’d wear a saree with the mf uhhhhh, the fucking butterfly sleeves… I don’t know my own culture cuh. I be white washed painting my face dark so I can fit in. ARGHHHHHH. They should make a way to trade melanin. Anyway, I’d lie in her lap as her hand caresses my cheeks, I’d ask her to take off the rings, I want to feel her completely. Skin to skin. I smile, a falsetto, I can’t feel a thing. Her tears stream down my face, I can taste her sadness. I ask her to kiss me, to embrace me, I let it linger for as long as I can. I pull out divine favours to make it last forever. An eternity disguised in an instant. My face falls from hers and my body is limp. Whatever future we had together remains in her. My daughter will change the world in ways unthought of.

Hey!! No idea what any of that was??? I really just be rambling when I’m dying. I’ve also noticed that I don’t like to write about real life, I be living in my fantasies. Now if only I could apply that to my dnd writing. Ugh.

I need Drez to stop working on the phone. I need my old voice memos. That’s my entire life. Those my stories. I cannot go without a single one of them. :,((((

——

Understand me well when I tell you that I am complete abject to killing. Even the worst of mfs deserve to at least serve their time. But! If you told me that’d I’d never get sick again if I slimed someone? I wouldn’t even need a weapon. With gnashing teeth, brutish strength and feral ferocity ever before seen they’d be dead. I would feed them their own entrails before I ever came down with a fever again. When I fight friends and cousins I have never will never put my all into it, to the point that I fear that If it were the real thing I wouldn’t put all of me into the fight. I just fear hurting people, it is my nature to not want to harm. But! If I never had to get sick again? My morals would leave my body faster than the creation of the universe. Whatever evil lingers in me would become whole and I’d sleep soundly at night knowing I’ll never cough or sneeze