November 17th & 18th - Birthdays and Bittersweet Byes

// November 17th, 2025 //

Woe that we might live in a world where I don’t wish Annjelette a happy birthday, that I would fail to get her, her rum cake. Foolishness that this might happen. I woke up with guilt, I was so excited to see my friend and immediately remembered I had forgotten a crucial text message, even as I ate her food yesterday I failed to remember. I would later receive a call from my supplier informing me that a rum cake would take much longer than anticipated. ARGHHH!!!

Work at the very least went well. I’m capable enough in my day to day that I can carry the hot food and soup on my own. It is nice to see my own progression. I cannot match up to Mark or Tita, but who is asking me to? The only person I can compare to is my past self, and I blow that guy out of the water. (Eghehehehe)

After work was the gym! An unfortunate institution I haven’t been in recent days / weeks / months. I put in a decent effort, I could’ve gone harder but I let the excuse of my absence take hold of my mind.

Then Drizzy and I went to eat, I missed my exit like 3 times. He missed the entrance to the highway and I was laughing to myself only for me to do the same thing 3 more times. I was in Brampton by the time I got off. After dinner I decided to check out a stag shop just because I was in the area. The clerks are legit some of the friendliest people. There was a dark skinned baddie. Shawty was laughing, smiling, laughing again. I felt like the funniest person alive… she just wants my money :(((

I left empty handed (eghehehehehe). I picked up some snacks on the way home and then it was time for dispatch!! CHASE IS DEAD, WAGHHHHHH. I had tears down my cheeks at the revelation that he would save someone he didn’t like, that he was just questioning why he did. Why he was a hero for so long at the expense of his own life, ONLY FOR HIM TO THEN GIVE IT UP TO SAVE SOMEONE ONE LAST TIME. AGHHHH I CRY AS I WRITE THIS. AGHHHH

// November 18th, 2025 //

An easy day! With a full staff? Unheard of your honour. I had lunch ready at a good time then made Annjelette serve so I could run out and grab her cake. I actually grabbed two cakes because the first was awful, absolute dog ish. I would give it to Drizzy later. When I got back to work we celebrated my work bestie's bday. A cake and card, and all the love in the world.

After work, the gym and then home.

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I feel a little empty. That bittersweet feeling of finishing a good book/movie/series/game. Where you leave whatever fantastical place you were just in and are thrust back into life. I have to sit and stew in the fact that it's over. I can rejoice in knowing I have one more playthrough to enjoy but even then I'll be sad to know it's done all over again, this time forever. Dispatch is phenomanal... It blends a fun game mechanic with a brilliant story and fantastically written characters. At no point did I feel nothing for any of these characters. Even when I hated them, they illicited such powerful emotion. Shit goated. I'll miss it when I finish my second playthrough.

So, from where I last left off. Chase aint dead!!! Yahoo!! Yippie!! I don't usually believe in the ends justifying the means, and I am not in love with how much Visi chooses to lie, about everything. While she may be doing it for what she percieves as the right reasons, she HAS to see that she causes more harm than good. That doesn't stem from any sort of fate or what powers she has. Those are direct consequences to premeditated actions. Do I think she was always in the right? H- he- Hell N- Hell Nah! Did I side with her implicitly! Oh without question. I need that tomboy c****** like I need air, shii has me feining. But yea-! I did lose a little steam when I learned what she did and then the fact that she just keeps digging her hole deeper.

I had that spoiled for me too. I was at the gym yesterday and I saw a video talking about who was better, Blonde Blazer or Invisigal and without warning they brought up what Visi did. I let out a Daredevil yell. It is such a devastating twist that I was gutted to not get to experience that in game. The moment still hit it's mark. I knew what she did but I had no idea how to react when the time came to it. I secured the bag anyway.

The last episode is a bit of a blur to me, I dont remember so much as I remember the parts that stood out to me. Like when Visi is tied up, of course I'm untieing her, thats wifey. Or when Coupe is tryna murderize me, brother, I NEVER WANTED TO CUT YOU, THE GAME IS FOOLISH!!! IT FORCED ME TO MAKE AN IMPOSSIPLE DISICION AND I HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE??? TF OUTTA HERE CUH. OFF SENDING A MESSAGE, YOU KNOW WHAT MESSAGE YOU NEED TO SEND, THAT WE ARE A TEAM, A UNIFIED FRONT, FUHHHHH...

And lastly, that fuck ass dog. I woulda kept beating the shit out of shroud, fuck that dog. I'll throw that scunt in the fire myself you stupid bitch ho. Fuck out of here with that shit. Bite the curb so I can bend every bone in your fingers back, lemme push your elbows and knees the wrong way, I wanna beat your face until youre unrecognizable. You'll live. Anyway, Mi amor, fineshyt saved me yes, but I just felt sad to leave her behind. Her ending was so... bleh? A kiss, barely a promise of forever, and then she gets loaded up into the ambulance and whisked away. There is a cruel, twisted fate with digital love interests. Shadowheart, Panam, Invisigirl, stuck forever behind the screen, I've built parasocial (Is that the correct term?) with all of these well written characters, it isn't like a series or movie where they fall for someone else and I project me onto the other character. I play the role of their love interests, V and Robert perhaps a little less, I project myself onto prewritten characters and then inform their decisions. But TAV and V I think are more justifiable, especially considering how many hours you spend in those worlds. It makes it all the easier to fall for Panam / Shadowheart, all the harder to leave. WHOA! where did this tangent go?? I was supposed to go to bed but I just kept yapping. TLDR, I feel strange liking digital women and then leaving them behind. It feels unhealthy.

I have much to contemplate, goodnight! You are loved.

• Dyl