November 28th - 30th, 2025 - I Fell In Love With An Emo Girl / Community Ball / The Rot Consumes, Even In The Cold

(All written on November 30th, 2025)

I have fallen in love with my life. I wish I could show a past version of myself just how high it gets. I know those lows felt unending but God it was so worth the wait. I was using the washroom just a minute ago and I forgive him. If I'm a different person than the one that he hurt then why should I carry his pain, his ego or his pride? I told myself a million times that I'd forgiven it, and yet when the time came, I was filled with malice. I'm okay with that, we all say things but when we're actually faced with the situation we're allowed to act completely different, we are allowed to surprise ourselves.

Since seeing him those two weeks ago, I've talked to a good ammount of people, I've mulled it over with myself, I've remininced. I can't put it better than how I felt in the moment, I can be friendly and not friends. Our bonds are forever broken, irreperable damage. That doesn't mean new bonds can be formed. I will harbour a flame of rage for my old self, I will keep a part of me secret and spiteful, it will be a painful reminder of what came before. To not trust the scorpion to not sting, it is in it's nature. But! Yea, to paraphrase Drez, "The tissue will heal but the scar will stay." And I'll wear it on my heart forever. I will keep it not with shame but with pride, to say that I survived. Every insult, every smear against my name, I'm still here. So fuck you, and you're right, we are cool now.

Back to what actually matters, I love life! You always hear about "Last night was a movie" brudda, this weekend was an entire trilogy, maybe an HBO season.

// November 28th, 2025 - I Fell In Love With An Emo Girl //

To quote another version of me, "I pregamed the pregame." It wasn't even noon and we had started drinking. A celebratory shot led into a delicous yet deceitfuly strong cooler. The work day was easy, I somehow ended up serving, I really didn't want to. It was inventory day and I was more than content in doing that, instead everyone finished their pages but me. Tita Gina had put my name on the wheel of discounts, my portion of the rewards was a date. One person landed on it and asked to spin again, I'm so cooked chat. Roy almost landed on it twice. THE FINE LIL FILIPINA I THINK IS VIET ALMOST LANDED ON IT. Ahem-!

Before I got home I managed to convince Drez to come to EmoNite (Not my Intention BTW). I knew I'd be driving and partying late into the night and knowing my disposition for failing to function past 1AM I decided it best to nap. After which I changed into my "emo" fit and looked in the mirror. Chopped ash, hell yeah. It was around 920 in the evening, I was on my way to Drez, if I drove straight to him we might miss LCBO, they closed at 10. I decided to brave it alone. I walked into the store with my ugly fit which was thankfully covered by my jacket but there was no hiding my face. I had went for a Choso meets The Batman 2022 look, I can only imagined I looked crazy to these people. Worse yet they gave me the finest cashier in my life. Tall, dark skinned, cute, beautiful voice. I winced with every second I spent beside her.

I finally get to Drez's when Dave asked for a ride, the original plan was to meet him there but I was good to scoop him. After both of my passengers were in we drove to this parking lot that Dave knows. Allegedly the city doesn't know about it so they just don't enforce the paid parking. I told Dave if I get a ticket he's paying it, there wasn't one.

We started pregaming in the car, I grabbed Vodka, Taihiti Treat and a Smirnoff Ice. Drez fell in love with the ICE, I told him what Icing someone meant and he had to pick up his jaw. He found an app similar to OMEGLE on his phone, we decided to run a couple of random chats while we pregamed. We clicked on that option to talk to women aaaaaannnnddd! The first people skipped us... That's fine, because the next peopleeeeee... also skipped us... We must have been skipped 10 times before someone wanted to talk to us. Our first randos were some alt looking white women from the States. Drez talked to them for while and then we moved on to the next group, Filipinas! My people! I told Drez to say "Kumusta Ka." Without hesitation the women responded, "Putang ina mo." I had to pick my jaw off the floor, Drez asked what they said, I told him they were hella rude. We kept talking, they asked if Drez was Daniel Caesar. LMFAO-! These women were funny if not crazy rude. Dave was ancy, he wanted to mosh. I was ready to head out too. I started getting out of the car when instead of closing the app Drez went to the next people... I saw his screen for a fraction of a second before I jumped back in the car. I was SAT. I saw my wife on the sceen, Dave wanted to go but he'd have to wait until I finished securing the socials. She was just with her friends enjoying her Friday night drinking wine, we told her we were drinking too. She asked what was on my face, when I brought up choso I saw her's light up. I was in. The topic moved to anime and what our top fives were. She detested my list, that's fine people are allowed to have differences, she had Demon Slayer (yuck) and JJK (Peak kinda) on hers. We didn't finish her list. We found out she was in Ontario- The field is GREEN! I told her I'd drive and she dissed what she thought was my KIA Soul. I had to make the Speed face. Shawty was clocking me. I can't remember how but she sent the snap, I told her I'd download it for her and she asked what I have, I got the Insta. And I said bye to my wife.

Then it was mosh time!!! Except I lost my wallet. We spent a cool 5 / 10 mins looking for it before Dave said I could use a picture of my ID. I had a pic of my passport, we walked to the venue and when we asked if it'd be okay the bouncer said no. He looked at Dave's, at Drez's, he stopped, said "Just show me." I showed him the ID and he waved us in. YEAAHHHH!!! There isn't too too much for me to write about. We just had a nice time vibing in a different setting and moshing. Dave always surprises me with his love for heavy rock. Deftones came on and he dissapeared into the pit. I jumped in whenever Pan!c, MyChem or FOB came on. We needed Drez in there but they didn't play anything he knew. Finally at the very end of the set there were enough songs that we threw him in.

I loved the mosh pit, every second of it was fun. At the Destroy Boys Concert the mosh was a terrifying beast. This was polite! If I fell, I was back up in milliseconds. It was a fun night. We went to the LCBO where I predicted I dropped my wallet, we couldn't find it. I dropped off both my passengers and went home. As I got out of the car I found it, nestled beneath my seat. Thank the lord.

// November 29th, 2025 - Community Ball //

Saturday was largely uneventful during the day. I had woken up just before noon, I was planning on putting some food in me but my mother had said we were eating sushi at Tita Jens and wanted to save my appetitie. I took my mom and Logan to Vaughn where we would hang out for half the day. I couldn't contain my exhaustion and knocked out on the couch. I felt bad for taking up so much space, it was rude of me and yet I persisted. Eventually it was time to go and I made it back home around six. I was still hungry, I devoured some pancit before Wuggy asked if he could catch a ride, that was fine I put him in my ittinerary and kept on with my evening. Kenneth and Drez then both asked for rides. Hmm. It was a losing game of Tetris I was playing, it was already 630 and I hadnt yet changed. I thought I'd have until 7 to get out the door but the extra passengers turned my half an hour commute into the full hour. I ran out the door to grab Wuggy but a crash on Derry what should have been a 30 second joy ride into a 7 minute detour.

I scooped Wuggy and we got to Knths, I realized I would have to make a sacrifice. Either Drez and Wuggy were late or just Drez was late. I made the executive decision (that didnt really feel like mine to make) and dropped my two passengers off before driving to Drez. I got him to the game just before halftime. Fahhh, they were losing; Not too badly but enough that it didn't feel recoverable. Everytime the team got within 7 points of catching up the other team would put a huge divide in the score. It was a constant uphill battle. An unfortunate circumstance that I refused to blame myself for. Kenneth and Drez should have made plans with me sooner. I still felt bad. I offloaded Wuggy to Raj and I have no idea who took Kenneth home.

I went back to Drez's so he could grab his club clothes, then we drove to Shabins. He and I caught up briefly while Drez showered. We were all feeling ourselves, Shabin and I had forced Drez out of his usual Tshirts into a collared button up. Something he would personally come to regret later. We hopped in the car and blasted raggaeton on the way to the venue, Drez said he found a parking lot close enough. We got into the city and into the parking lot, $6 maximum was lightwork and finished pregaming before we started walking to the venue. Drez said it was close prior to parking, after of which we found out the walk would be 30 minutes. I ran back down to grab my jacket I wasn't trying to freeze to death, twice I had made this very mistake.

We got to the venue, something in my stomach dropped. I had learned an hour ago that Sarahi was coming. I dreaded the thought of embarassing myself. I pushed the thoughts aside and we lined up for coat check. We had barely been in the club for 5 minutes before mfs were already trying to box each other out. A gleam in my eye prayed that the fight would accidentally involve our group but I'm also glad that it didn't. The night that transpired was lightyears more fun than getting thrown out the club.

We met up with Nuria and her boyfriend, she brought us to Sara and the other cleaner from FCT. Our two groups merged. My mind was on fire, my chest tightened, you could see on my face I wasn't happy. Drez and Shabin asked if I was okay. I perciveried and pushed forward. In truth, I think I was okay. I just- at that very moment didn't want to be there. I hadn't pre gamed enough and I was feeling very- I was feeling a lot. Nuria wanted to grab a bottle for our group, it would've run us $375... Shabin had insider information to buy shots and drinks instead, they'd be cheaper. We got shots and I had my cooler (because I was driving). The night went on.

Eventually Shabin asked what my intentions were with Sara because she was pretty. Everyone could see it. Have you ever... have you ever had possession over something you didn't really want; though the second you found out someone else wanted it, it changed your outlook, you started to value it a little more? In this hypothetical, Shabin asking for the ball made me want to hold on to it. But I told myself I didn't want it, after all I had dropped the ball a month prior, I even left the court. So why did I feel attached? I gave Shabin the ball, but I think I only did it verbally, because for the rest of the night the ball stayed in front of me and on my lap. And you know what? That shit felt good, I loved having the ball. I dropped it a couple of times in the night however, Drez was holding it for a spell, Shabin, the ball even found it's way into two randos hands. In the end however it was in my lap.

Ahem-! Beyond that, we had a great time just vibing, whatever jitters I had, had completely vanished. I was too focused on the friction to care about what my brain or heart was saying. Drez was shirtless nearly the whole night. The button up was too small, as he moved around the two top buttons came undone, eventually the entire thing was off. There was a moment where Drez and I both had the ball, that was bizzarre. Shabin had her giggling the whole night, in hindsight I don't think we actually talked... We were just on each other. Nuria's boyfriend is taller than I thought he'd be, Drez could take him...

The night came to a close, Nuria and her crew said goodbye, the community said bye to their ball and we stayed to dance a little longer. When we got to coat check the club closing up and it looked like an hour wait ahead of us. Shabin however, club veteran of whom I am so glad I brought, skipped to the front and said his mom was having an emergency and cut to the front to grab our jackets. Absolute mad man. We got outside, it was snowing, heavy. We grabbed hotdogs outside and I saw a message from Matthew, he was asking about FNAF, I told him the community ball crew wanted to come and proposed we go to either Erin Mills or Oakville.

We continued walking back to the car yapping to each other about the night, the fun we had. The walk back was far faster than the walk there. It was a long ride. I drove for two hours getting Shabin and Drez home. My mind raced in bed. My blood ran hot. Latinas.

--aside --

What I thought would be a fun assignment from Georgia has easily become something entirely too stressful. I haven't been in school in years, I was excited for this project because I thought I'd have ample time, in place of that my dear cousin has dumped nothing but stess upon me. I feel like I'm letting her down simpy by living my life. I don't have the time to help her, I thought I'd have a month or two weeks. I don't know where she expects me to pull out this essay.

// November 30th, 2025 - The Rot Consumes Even In The Cold //

I need two Sundays. One is for recovery and the other is for recreation. Today was purely the former, thus I still have so much left to do.

• Secret Santa (Friends) Dec 20

• Secret Santa (Work) Dec 17

• Secret Santa (Work 2) Dec 12

• Secret Santa (Family) Dec 25

• Finish CSM Cafe Post

• Finish Klarence Japan Post

• MATTHEW L'S 26TH BIRTHDAY (Gift)

• Med Times

• Kamayan

• Hangout with my mother and sister

• Letter to Klarence

• Letter to Nene

• Text ppl back

• Get the ball back in my court

• Read and Write to my father

• Either finish Georgia's work or tell her I cannot

My recovery consisted entirely of doomscrolling, g***ing and writing this. I flipped a coin early in the day, I flipped it three times. For each head I was supposed to text one of the balls in my court. I got three head, guess how many of the balls I texted today??

I'm going to go try and rectify that. It's late now. I'll find a way to occupy my time for an hour before I knock out. Perhaps I'll have better luck tomorrow. Goodnight, I love you, goodnight. - Dyl