May 29th, 2026 - When does the ride stop?

I feel like I haven’t stopped in forever; like the flash running on Apokolips’ treadmill generator. Life truly gives no breaks and I hate it. Lola Linda passed away on Tuesday, (May 26th, 2026). I almost didn’t go because of how stressed I was with Tania not being welcome at my place I didn’t want her to drive down, I was going to go from Oakville to Brampton to Niagara to Brampton. But I feel like with that plan we wouldn’t’ve gotten to Niagara in time.

Tania parked outside my mom’s place and she drove most of the way, she stopped off at Burger King so I could have something in my stomach and relax. We got to Niagara an hour later and we picked up pizza for my Ninang and everyone else. I got to see Lola and she was just a poor pastiche of what I knew her as. This strong woman, so bright in appearance and verbose in personality was shrunken down to just skin and bones. Where I usually felt joy, I felt pity, and even that turned to guilt.

I got to introduce Tania and Lola. I’m glad I was able to show pictures to Lola last time because now she was unable to open her eyes, she was unresponsive speechwise as well. So the conversation was a little one sided. I said “thank you.” I was grateful and appreciative of everyday she took care of me, fed me, clothed me, showed me kindness. It isn’t something I’ve ever really said but she is certainly someone who had a heavy impact in my life, I only wish I repaid it back.

The priest arrived while I was having my one on one but I was finished talking anyway. He performed the last rites on Lola Linda and then Tania and I went downstairs to eat. I don’t want to get so intimate with the details of that night here. It feels icky. After she passed we stayed a little longer, I asked if there was anything I could do, when it was evident I could not Tania drove us home. My mother was kind enough to let us stay the night with her.

I’m thankful to Tania, going there alone would have been brutal for me I think. I really love her. She means so much to me. I think I’m going to ask her out.

//

Beyond that, the days at work are mixed in quality. Sometimes I’m feeling good, others I’m so frustrated. We’re still in the hiring process and Marks last day is tomorrow. Fuck me.

Other than that I have to lock in. Get my smart serve, apply for other places. Talk to all the realtors about a place to live.