May 24th, 2026 - I miss you.

May 13th, 2026

My head has been completely out of sorts for a minute now. Every day I come into work hoping it’s my last. I’ve started my search for other places. I think I’d really love medieval times or a board game cafe. I’m putting my dreams on the shelf. I’ve never really worked on them anyway. I’m going to grab the tallest ladder I can find and put them on the highest shelf in hopes that I can forget them. To know them and not have them is nothing more than a burden of knowledge I cannot bear.

I went to the bank about a mortgage last Friday. Woe is this capitalist society we live in. I’m never going to be able to leave my mother’s home. I’ll never be able to detach myself from her arms. My body is already crushing that of my siblings, what more when they grow taller, get larger. It isn’t fair of me, and I certainly don’t want to stay. I need to leave. I’ll die otherwise. That is true for my “home” and my work. Places I’ve overstayed my welcome.

I look at buildings as I pass them by and wonder who lives in them? How they can afford such luxuries, a roof over their head, food in their stomachs, laughter in their life. I want to be where the people are. My dreams (having made space by throwing away the old ones) are becoming ever so mundane. Where I once dreamed to tour the world as an artist, telling people of my trials and tribulations, how I got over them (or didn’t); now my greatest wishes are to be able to live. A place of my own, enough money to be comfortable. It is regrettable that this is where I am in life but isn’t that growing up?

May 19th, 2026

I’ve been playing house with my girlfriend recently. If I’m not sleeping at her place then she’s sleeping at mine. There is no greater peace I’ve found than to be in bed with the person you’re in love with. Heartbeats falling in sync, breaths becoming one. The last 4 months have been therapeutic and the greatest in years. I have more than just her to thank for that but certainly she is the sun that shines brighter than the other stars. I have found a real beauty in the mundance, a peace in the quiet. I used to love noise, the business of it. In a sense I still do but I think there are differences that matter. Before I would search for the noise because I didn't want things to be quiet, I wanted to run fast enough that the silence could never catch me. I knew that if I could hear my own thoughts that I would hate the words I was saying so I needed to be faster. These days however, I like the peace, the quiet! The silence caught up to me a while back and I had to make peace with a lot of turmoil I was carrying. It wasn't the best time in my life but I'm better now for surviving it. I find I am constantly doing that, prolonging a better version of myelf because I fear the next version of myself will be too unrecognizable, I'll never be me again. Which is fine! We are supposed to change, stagnation might be worse than death. Forgive my torrent, I wanted to circle back to the silence in my life now. These days, three months until 27 I like my quiet little life. I make a big change in just a handful of peoples lives and right now I am very okay with that.

A quick overview of things you missed since I spoke to you last!

Art!!

• Daredevil Born Again Season 2

• I really loved this season, it was such a delight to see Chip Zdarsky's work be (even loosely) adapted. Not to mention I find that this season fixed all of my issues with the first season. I always knew we werent going to get the OG Daredevil back, but I was okay with that because I've read so many runs of the guy and I know that they all feel distinct, unique. I loved how that translated to live action. The show may have changed but Daredevil remains the same. Also! They had an episode that looked like it was straight out of Netflix and it was such a mindfuck to see that if they wanted they could have just kept the show the same. But a big fat 10/10 for me. :)

• Invincible

• Fraudwatch is over, Mark Grayson is once again, that guy. This season blew me away, I was planning on hate watching the show just because I know people who like it and I wanna talk about it, but those first couple of episodes really gripped me. I was so invested in what was happening, and the latter half of the season? Holy. Shit. I am so delighted that I chose to stick it out, I only hope that they keep the momentum going for the future.

• The Boys

• The first handful of episodes I really liked, the latter half... I write this as the season finale is ready to premiere tonight, so hopfully they wrote a hel lof an ending worthy of taking up so much space in the cultural zeitgeist for so long.

• JJK Season 3

• Oh my god. The heavens themselves must have blessed Mappa and its director, because that third season was by far one of the greatest pieces of animation I have ever laid witness to. The art direction, the cinematography, the music, the fight choreography. Every frame a painting, and every episode a masterpiece. UGHHHHHH!!! I pray everything is as good as JJK S3. That is the bar. Seeing this season drop episodes week to week was such a joy, I felt like I was in the trenches for Shinjuku Showdown again. Lobotomy Kaisen resurected in full swing. I loved every week of this 12 episode run.

Other than that I also watched Beef S2, Superstore and Tania has been introducing me to some Bollywood movies, so far we hit Kal Ho Naa Ho, Kabhi Khushi Khabi Gham, and Om Shanti Om. I have wept at every one. I'm really enjoying them! They're fun, campy, silly, over the top at times, and still so packed to the brim with heart that I can do nothing but shed tears. I hope to watch every movie under the sun with this woman.

I went to Montreal with my cousins! A story for another time perhaps, I'll leave it at, I had a great time and I hope my cousins did too, though I also hope I get to visit again but with Tania. She and I went to the Gala for Scarlett House this year. Just the two of us, that was a really fun night.

May 24th, 2026

"Let no man pull you so low as to hate him." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Superman is the pinnacle of superheroism, he is kind to all no matter the cost. He does not do it because of any other reason than it is the right thing to do. Superman in most cases would not kill. I am not Superman. Every day I spend within these walls, every word that falls from this fuckers mouth, I am drawn to do things that would land me in prison. Hate is not strong enough a word for what I feel for that fucker. I would condemn myself to a thousand hells if it meant his mortal living was merely uncomforable. Fuck you. Every night I pray you die. I'll burn your house down, I don't care who I love is inside.

Anyway, this was a nice weekend. Tania came over late on the Thursday last week and she's been here since. We hung out with Logan on the Saturday, played Transformer Monopoly and then watched Obsession with him at the theatre, I got to see Middeth, Roy, Ned and RyCo if only briefly. That movie is insane, such a disgustingly uncomfortable watch but holy shit it was sooooooo good. The score, the cinematography, the lighting, Inde Navarrette's acting is off the wall. God it was such a sickening watch, amazing movie.

The Sunday was lazy. I feel like I haven't checked my phone in forever. I missed talking to you, but I haven't really had something substantial to say, or nothing has inspired me so much as this. But holy FUCK I hate him. I want that man DEAD.

Fuck.