May 29th, 2025 - Nega Dyl

I don’t anger easily, I can get annoyed sure; But my rage is an event. My coworker likes to say it’s a different version of myself, coming to the surface. I don’t see it while it’s happening though I can only imagine I look like Nega Scott or Sentry’s Void. This version of me, I think it spews venom with every word; it spreads Terraria’s corruption with every step. Flowers wither around it, the sun retreats and the air turns foul. After the dust settles, when the demon is done, I am left. I exist in its shadow and live well after it is gone. I clean the messes it makes and repair the bridges it burns. I try not to let him out. The last time I did I lost my best friend.

Have you ever seen Mickey 17? I like that movie. I think I’m like 17 and 18. I usually feel bad about what 18 does, I spend hours in my own head upset at what that other me did. I apologize on his behalf. But today? Today was his, and I didn’t care. It was nice to relax, to sit back and watch myself. My rage is usually reserved for the villains that deserve it and there was a villian. I was ready to choke them out, walk them like a dog and throw corona on them. Bitch made. Today was nice.

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I pass by this decrepit house on my way home everyday. The thing wasn’t there today. They took the entire house bro. There’s a house shaped hole where it used to be. — 7 Hours Later —

Ughhh, I have been missing the gym. I feel weak. I should go, I was supposed to go today, I have no excuse. Instead I went home and...? I watched Brooklyn 99, played Cyberpunk and browsed the internet?? Awful. I should be doing something. Anything. One of the episodes of B99 had one of the MC's staring uncertain death in the face with a bomb. I thought about if that were me and I began to cry. I want to live. Oh my god I want to live. Please, send me purpose. Goodnight - Dyl