July 8th, 2025 - Im ready to live

Wow! What a nice day! Work was a lil much. Mansur called in and Jen called in yesterday, but freak it we ball. I think summer is hitting FCT, it didn’t feel very busy. Korean Bibimbap day, brought some home for my mom.

Hit the Gym, did a bunch of push exercises with a 40 minute cardio. I was SWEATING, EWWWWW!!! Had to take a shower ish was nasty, my back is peeling from the burn. Spent 30 minutes doomscrolling naked on the floor tryna regen energy.

Got in my car drinking my water and eating my salad. Bro, the sun beats down not overbearing but warm. A gentle golden glow glistens against my sweat. I just ate the most perfect- you don’t- these were the greatest raspberries of my entire life. Usually raspberries to me are just a lil extra pop with other berries. But here, now? They were the highlight. So sweet, so soft, delectable. I was listening to Luther by Kendrick Lamar at the time. It was a perfect moment. I wish I could bottle it.

—-

Ahem- I came to the realization. I don’t wanna die. I think I’m really gonna hit my stride in my 30s. Which pisses me Tf off. Wdym I spent a decade hating myself just for me to find- not self worth? Self love? Hrmnn, not quite yet. Self acceptance maybe. But like, I hated you for years. YEARS. And now I just fw you??!?? >:/

I also came to the realization that Jo lowkey soft launched himself out of my life. Not mine exclusively, but- he’s just gone. It’s weird. And I’m not entirely bothered by it, I obvi miss him. But I had a good time with him and I’ll always have that, if there isn’t more to come. Then- I dunno. I’m just okay with it.

What is this? I feel like a bitch.

- Dyl