December 25th - 27th, 2025 - Christmas!! / In a Nuclear Winter

// December 25th, 2025 //

Christmas in a Nuclear Winter Pt. 1

Merry Christmas!! I woke up with a splitting headache, I've never slept for a good ammount of time and still feel this greed for more. I wanted the Earth to be my blanket, and eternal sleep where I could finally be rested properly. I awoke anyway. It was well after 12 by the time we all made it downstairs to open our gifts. This. This one was nice, I had no jealousy here, no queasy feeling. I felt loved. I reopened the gifts from last night, it didn't feel fair to leave them out, they deserved a retrial. AND! I felt so much better, It was like looking at a painting unfinished. I felt queasy because the art was unfinished, I couldn't yet get the proper emotional response. Come the final painting however? I knew what it was to be loved.

After the opening of gifts and lunch with my mother I headed upstairs, with the money I had acquired I went ahead and bought Fallout 4 and NV for under $20. I played NV almost all day. I got to a point however where I was bored out of my mind. I switched after Fallout 4 was downloaded and I hate to say it but I was having a lot more fun. I had Parks and Rec on in the background. This continued well into the early hours of tomorrow.

// December 26th, 2025 //

Nuclear Winter Pt. 2

I have nothing to say to you. This entire day was spent playing Fallout 4 with Parks and Rec on in the background. Despicable; a terrible, horrible, ugly display of my freetime. I had thought I would use these days off productively. I thought I might build something, A diorama or a cosplay, I figured I might clean up my stack of unread books. F*&k my stupid chungus life.

UGH! And then!!!! My pancit smells!!! T.T

I don't know where I went wrong but I find it a difficult thing to swallow, I feel terrible for now making so much and forcing it on my loved ones. If it perserved well I would feel no shame but to give people I care about food that doesn't last? Guilt has made me it's home once more. I hate that I made so much, I hate that it started to smell on the same day. I should have fridged the thing as soon as I had the chance.

// December 27th, 2025 //

Nuclear Winter Pt. 3

I know where the day went, I grasp completely how the sands of time slipped through my fingers and yet? It still remains a mystery to me how fast these days go by. I wanted to be productive, at least semi. So I spent the morning journaling, writing and creating pixelated versions of my D&D party.

That lasted me until 1, after that everything was free eats. I had one more recap to write, but my discord remained unopened for the rest of the day. In place of it, Parks and Rec and Fallout 4 consumed my every waking moment.

I’m not in love with how I’m spending these days. My sister told me to touch grass. Few and far between is a 10 year olds advice sound, yet I fear her words ring true. I haven’t left the house since Wednesday. I have hope for tomorrow, mama asked me to come over and help (and critiqued my pancit more) so I’ll use that to run errands and see what outside is like.