August 21st, 2025 - This guy is reading my diary??

I am trapped by ineptitude on the road

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Ew! It smells yuck in here bruh. Someone took a fat stankapoo. New guy started today. He ended up on the patio when I had to let him in. He’s fine, he’s Italian but he’s fine. I dawdled around tryna figure out what to teach him before Tita came in to take over. Hmm-? Work is strange today, I’m worried I’m not doing well, not fast enough whatever. Which is a stark contrast to weeks ago when I had everything ready at 10:10 everyday. But! I can say that it’s experience. Because that menu, I had done a million times. This week is all new, with things I’ve never done before I need to give myself forgiveness, I only hope others can too.

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Did I tell you? Yesterday was strange in a way. I looked at my friends and almost didn’t recognize them. I had to come to hard realization that oh, life doesn’t stop when you disappear. People keep living their lives, growing, changing. I felt like captain America thawing from ice and being in an entirely new century. The street names hadn’t changed but long gone are the stores that used to be there. Something new and shiny in its place.

Have you ever had something you held to a higher standard, thought the world of, and you’re given a piece of information and it sullies your perception of it. Completely changes your point of view? That was me when my little baby cousin started swearing around me, around family. I took my glasses off to wipe them, and when I put them back on he wasn’t a baby boy, he was an adult, he was a younger me. When I saw my friend yesterday he wasn’t teaching me how to smoke. The man who only did edibles was teaching me how to smoke, he had someone he was talking to, he was hanging out with our friends. My perception of him wasn’t shattered but the image I had of him in my head wasn’t the man in front of me. My files were outdated, or maybe they were never right, I just had my idealized version of him. I dunno, life is strange. The world turns.

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I’m home. After an exhausting 24ish hours I am home. Hello bed, oh hello siblings. Oh by what do you mean you read my journals brother of mine? What the sigma? What the helly?