August 19th, 2025 - Teach me creativity and I'll be God

I didn’t hate the work place it was just he lunch rush. When I tell you I was ready to burn the building down… but then the rush finished and I could see again! Today was a bit much, I need to be faster I need to communicate. Beyond that, I think we’re okay.

I got home after running some errands and who should call me but Shabin? We spent an hour talking and imma head to his place tomorrow to help him pack? But also so he can do his little archive memory project and to plan for Blue Mountain. I hope L comes. I wanted to text rajvir but I know that man’s gonna clown me about Yeca, AND ALSO, (whom I have not thought of until I thought of texting Rajvir, your honour I’m a changed man PLEASEE!) and also, Shabin wants it secret so. His wish is my command. We ran in circles with the convo a bit, it’s fine.

——

I lost the evening again. I remember wanting to play BG3 or XCOM or plan my sessions when I got home. Instead, ???.

Bruh, I’m tryna watch some last minute Naruto before bed and I cannot believe they followed peak (Sage Naruto vs Pains) with 6 tails vs pain. This is SO FUCKING LAAAAMMMMEEEEE!!!! The coolest part was seeing the skull and bones on the outside of the 6 tails which is neat because I based my DnD design off of a post I saw on Pinterest without ever seeing Naruto. I wonder if the Pinterest design is based off of Naruto. Seeing pain beat Hinata made me cry. But everything after is so doggy doo doo.

HOL UP?? We might be getting peak?? The fighting stopped an we’re back to yapping. MINATO IS BACK????

Time to take a shower

— addendum

I was so ugh today. I remember just thinking “give me the gun, give me the gun.” I just kept pleading for the universe to teach me how to be a creative and I’ll be god. If you have me learn how to make music I’ll create a symphony, if you teach me to dance I’ll shake the earth, teach me to paint or draw and I’ll give you colours you’ve never seen, shapes you couldn’t comprehend, art you’ve only dreamt of. Teach me how to create and I’ll be God.

My earliest memory of Shabin is a comp sci class. I didn’t know him back then, I didn’t know how he knew me. I was working on some shitty code game that I couldn’t figure out and he inched his chair closer to mine. “Did you know that the flash in Justice League isn’t Barry, it’s Wally?” At 13 I didn’t know Wally West yet. I didn’t know Shabin yet. He was just some brown kid who saw I liked DC comics and wanted to talk.

I hated that class, the amount of assignments I failed, the tests I bombed. The excuses I had to come up with for missing classes or being late. You are the greatest thing to ever come from that. While the bar is low, I want you to understand that you supersede it an infinite amount. I couldn’t count the times you’ve changed my life for the better.